Mother's Day Musings

Stars of the show:

Last night, we had our teenage babysitter over and my husband and I went out to dinner, an early Mother's Day treat.  After we got home and the babysitter had gone, I noticed there was a Gerbera daisy on the kitchen counter and notes from all the children with Mother's Day wishes.  I felt grateful and pleased to have a thoughtful teenager in the neighborhood that I can rely on and kids excited to make cards for their mommy!

Mother's day or not, mothering goes on...  

This morning my five year old woke up with the "throw ups" at five in the morning and has not stopped since.  After a call to the pediatrician, we are canceling the Mother's Day breakfast and hike and taking care of this sick little one.  My husband, who is NOT a cook rallied and made bacon and eggs and toast for us all.  Way to go!        

I read a post the other day about a mother's day dream and it is my dream also:

Crab Mommy writes about her dream:

"What I want for Mother's Day: the sweet sound of silence. For a whole day.

I want to get up on Sunday and walk the streets, without keeping an eye on someone else. I want to drink coffee sitting down. With a book. I want to poke around in vintage stores for hours, something I haven't done in at least three years. I want to explore my new city for a whole Sunday, with no aim, no schedule, no competing agendas. A day with no conversations, except those in my own head."

I can relate to this. 

I wish for "a little time" for all my mother friends and myself...

A day, a few hours, or even a trip to the bathroom alone to regroup and regenerate in order to be refreshed enough to keep caring for the one's who make us the mothers we are.

Happy Mother's Day!

Spring in the Sonoran Desert II

Rattlesnake on road

Photographer in danger

Camera strikes first

Sonoran Desert

Waterless, barren, and brown

But now Spring is here

The desert continues to be teaming with wildlife and cactus blooms.  These photos my husband took in Saguaro National Park East last week.  Visit him at William Cockrell Photography. 

To celebrate Spring's continued brilliance I'm posting for Haiku Friday.  Check out all the fabulous poems hosted by Playgroups Are No Place For Children and A Mommy Story. 

Super Mom traveling by Car

I have always believed in the philosophy of "the good enough mother." 

Maybe that's not entirely true.  When I had my first son I certainly wanted to be the "perfect" mother.  I had high expectations and little experience.  Now I am the mother of four and some days I am just barely sliding into the "good enough" category.

A perfect example of my digression from "perfect" to "good enough" has played out in the car.  

Child #1:  Baby cries.  Stop the car no matter where you are, even if you are on a mountainous  highway surrounded by trucks going 8o miles an hour.  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Settle the baby and begin driving again.  Five minutes later the baby is still crying.  Stop the car and repeat the process all over again.  Make little progress on the road trip until the baby finally falls asleep.

Child #2:  Baby cries.  Assess whether now is a good time to stop.  Talk to the baby calmly until the ideal stopping place is near.  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Settle the baby and begin driving again.  If the baby continues to cry, first try to soothe the baby without stopping.  Stop only if the baby does not stop crying within a reasonable amount of time.  

Child #3:  Baby cries.  Only stop at designated places along the road when gas is needed, or to feed the other children.  Encourage the baby, "We're almost there.  Twenty more minutes and we'll stop.  Hold on baby."  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Continue on the trip.  If the baby cries, soothe the baby until the baby falls asleep.  Do not stop again until next designated stop. 

Child #4:  After driving for about six hours realize that the baby has not been nursed, or changed.  Pat the baby and say, "Just about there.  We'll get you all fixed up as soon as we get home."  Baby does not cry or complain.  Being number four baby knows how to go with the flow.

Finding the balance between being a "Super Mom"and being a "Slacker Mom"  can be tough.   Jen Singer  has a new book and it addresses this very issue.  Her video promoting her book has a great message about modern day mothering and the challenges we face.  Hope you enjoy it.  As Mother's day approaches, I hope to continue to be a "good enough" mother!

Green Paint

After four kids, we gave up baby proofing long ago...

 We should be experts, but we have had an inverse reaction and with each new child the quality and quantity of baby proofing has deteriorated.

This brings me to: 

What not to leave out on the counters available to small children.

Perfume, lotion, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, make up, nail polish, baby powder and the winner is Green Paint.

My children, especially my five year old son and three year old daughter love to mix and stir and dump any viable substance they can get their hands on.

I wrote a little poem that explains it better:

Green Paint

Michael poured the green paint

and Madeline rubbed it on her arms

and rubbed it on the dog

and rubbed it on the walls

and they laughed and laughed together

at the green world. 

  By Laura

Don't follow my example!  I would hate to have to admit how many messes I have cleaned up due to being lazy on the baby proofing front.

Today is WFMW and Rocks in My Dryer has some great tips for what doesn't work in raising kids and families!

    

Collections

This morning, I have found a pocketful of items in my son's jeans. It is amazing how he collects these little treasures.  A couple of smooth colored rocks from a neighborhood friend, a mini skateboard with a wheel missing, a plastic cap, and a stretchy soldier he found on the bus.  He has always been a collector.  One of his first statements about his baby brother was "He's messing up my collections."  He loves these odds and ends and takes more pride in them than the most expensive toys.

Another friend, watching her son play with a shoelace said, "I don't know why we buy toys."  I am not suggesting boycotting  toys, we have a whole playroom full.  My kids certainly have their favorites and they love video games and computer time, too! 

I think I know my children and can anticipate what will fascinate them, but they are unique and sometimes hold dear strange and mysterious things.  

The twin dolls I bought for my three year old daughter are loved and played with by my one year old.  

My seven year old loves his free Neopet stuffed animals that came in McDonald's happy meals.  He has played with these "stuffies" for four years now.  They are worn and frayed and they have travelled on many car trips with us.  

My five year old spends hours pouring over the I Spy books.  "I spy a marble, a clothespin, three keys, and a red checker."

It all just reminds me to forget about the media blitz of best toys of the year, and to stop and reflect on the simple tastes of a child.  

The simplicity of a child... 

     See more collections at Mariposa's Fun Monday

Sunday Mornings

Kids hanging out!

On Sundays, I often feel a little blue...  

A day with so many possibilities.  I want to play with the kids and be lazy.  Sometimes we go to church, or we go hiking in a beautiful place, or we go out to breakfast.  I know I should catch up on the laundry and do housework.  I'm always aware that tomorrow is the start of a busy week and that can cast a shadow over enjoying the day.  

The following poem sums up the nostalgia I feel and helps me fight the Sunday Blues:

It's Sunday Morning in Early November

and there are a lot of leaves already

I could rake and get a head start.

The boys' summer toys need to be put

in the basement.  I could clean it out 

or fix the broken storm window.

When Eli gets home from Sunday school,

I could take him fishing.  I don't fish 

but I could learn to.  I could show him 

how much fun it is.  We don't do as much

as we used to do.  And my wife, there's

so much I haven't told her lately,

about how quickly my soul is aging, 

how it feels like a basement I keep filling

with everything I'm tired of surviving.

I could take a walk with my wife and try

to explain the ghosts I can't stop speaking to.

Or I could read all those books piling up

about the beginning of the end of understanding...

Meanwhile, it's such a beautiful morning,

the changing colors, the hypnotic light.

I could sit by the window watching the leaves,

which seem to know exactly how to fall

from one moment to the next.  Or I could lose

everything and have to begin over again.

 

  Philip Schultz

*Philip Schultz won the Pulitzer Prize a few weeks ago for his new book Failure.  

Future Polygamist, I hope not...

I was putting the boys to bed last night and we ended the day with the following conversation:

Storytellin' boy:  "When I grow up I am going to 

marry seven girls."

Little Expert:  "That's against the law."

Storytellin' Mama:  "Why do you want to marry seven girls?"

Little Expert:  "Don't answer that, I don't even want to know."

Little Expert again:  Well, Drake has gone out with about two hundred girls and he doesn't want to marry any of them."

*Little Expert gets a lot of his knowledge and advice from the Nickelodeon show Drake and Josh.  It's about two brothers, one cool and one geeky.

These are the stunning and uplifting bedtime talks that end our day. I swear, the boys have not been following the recent "polygamy events."

Out of the mouth of babes...

Spring in the Sonoran Desert

Palo Verde trees

Children play beneath splendor

Yellow blossoms  fall

By Laura

We live in the Sonoran desert among the coyotes, javelinas, roadrunners and jackrabbits.  My kids love to run and play in the backyard.  Their play structure is nestled under two beautiful Palo Verde trees. 

It is Spring in Tucson!  I'm celebrating by posting a poem for Haiku Friday hosted by Playgroups Are No Place For Children and A Mommy Story

The Road Not Taken

 Click for larger image

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost 1915

My dream is to inspire my sons to take their own path, find their own way, and be their own men.  I hope that when they look down the road of life, they will see me up ahead encouraging them to continue on their journey.

Five Minutes for Mom 

 is sponsoring a Mother's Day Contest 

"Your Picture is Worth a Thousand Dollars."  

Many beautiful pictures have already been posted!

*Picture courtesy of my husband William Cockrell