I have always believed in the philosophy of "the good enough mother."
Maybe that's not entirely true. When I had my first son I certainly wanted to be the "perfect" mother. I had high expectations and little experience. Now I am the mother of four and some days I am just barely sliding into the "good enough" category.
A perfect example of my digression from "perfect" to "good enough" has played out in the car.
Child #1: Baby cries. Stop the car no matter where you are, even if you are on a mountainous highway surrounded by trucks going 8o miles an hour. Nurse the baby. Change the baby. Settle the baby and begin driving again. Five minutes later the baby is still crying. Stop the car and repeat the process all over again. Make little progress on the road trip until the baby finally falls asleep.
Child #2: Baby cries. Assess whether now is a good time to stop. Talk to the baby calmly until the ideal stopping place is near. Nurse the baby. Change the baby. Settle the baby and begin driving again. If the baby continues to cry, first try to soothe the baby without stopping. Stop only if the baby does not stop crying within a reasonable amount of time.
Child #3: Baby cries. Only stop at designated places along the road when gas is needed, or to feed the other children. Encourage the baby, "We're almost there. Twenty more minutes and we'll stop. Hold on baby." Nurse the baby. Change the baby. Continue on the trip. If the baby cries, soothe the baby until the baby falls asleep. Do not stop again until next designated stop.
Child #4: After driving for about six hours realize that the baby has not been nursed, or changed. Pat the baby and say, "Just about there. We'll get you all fixed up as soon as we get home." Baby does not cry or complain. Being number four baby knows how to go with the flow.
Finding the balance between being a "Super Mom"and being a "Slacker Mom" can be tough. Jen Singer has a new book and it addresses this very issue. Her video promoting her book has a great message about modern day mothering and the challenges we face. Hope you enjoy it. As Mother's day approaches, I hope to continue to be a "good enough" mother!