Kids Understanding the World

It is amazing to see the world through my children's eyes. At times they have such complex questions and such astute observations.  

As a grown up, it can be hard enough to make sense of the world sometimes... hearing my kids fresh viewpoints and their innocent ideas is so bittersweet, but gives me hope for the future.  

The other day, my husband had forgotten something he needed for work. I picked up my kindergartner from the bus and we headed for my husband's work to drop it by. On the way, we passed a weathered looking man selling newspapers. I rolled down my window and gave him a dollar for a newspaper. 

My son was interested in the exchange.

"Mom, does that man have a home?"

"I'm not sure, but I think he camps in the trees."

"How does he get clean?"

"Well, he probably doesn't get to take a shower as often as we do."

"Oh, I know he has to get clean outside when it rains."

"Does he have any money?"

"He gets a little money from selling newspapers."

"Oh, I know when money is blowing around he can run and catch it and then he will have more money."

"Well, I don't think money blows around too much."

(My son has been studying Johnny Appleseed in class.)  

"I know, next time we drive by we can give him some of our apples and then he can plant the seeds and grow some apple trees and he will have more food."

"Mom, will we ever see that man again? Can we buy another newspaper from him the next time..."

Remembering 9/11...

Seven years ago we were a small family of three.

We were looking forward to our son's first birthday which happened to fall on September 12, 2001. The day after the horrible terrorist attack on our country, but at the time we were unaware of what was to come. 

We were busy making plans for the happy occasion. His first little cake. Celebrating his first steps. Our family joined together to marvel at what a big boy our little baby had become.

On that crazy 9/11 day, I remember holding my small son close and watching T.V. along with the rest of the country. All thoughts of my son's birthday chased away by events that I could hardly understand, or comprehend.

Seven years later, our family has grown from three to six. We have four rambunctious kids and tomorrow our son will turn eight years old.  

Life is completely different than it was on that day, but the memory of it will be forever etched and entwined with the celebration of our son's birthday. A bittersweet occasion to remember the great losses individual families in this country have experienced and endured. A day also to celebrate and watch my first son grow up.   

Here are other stories from the past at Sincerely 'Fro Me to You

More Pets?

A large furry friend.

Hello there, Mr Spider!

Did you come to play?

Yikes, he moves so quick!

Big eyes when he comes too close.

Will he crawl on me?

Tarantula, eek!

My little boys think he's cool!

Mommy's not so sure!

Of course, there's this guy.

Lives in our aquarium.

A big wolf spider.

What about this one?

Tarantula? Wolf spider?

I am not sure which!

I love Arizona living, except for the creepy crawlers that share our land. What's a mom to do? This is my buggy life. We found all three of these eight-legged friends in our yard this week!

I remember in graduate school, I had some little tiny bugs in my apartment in San Francisco from construction going on in the neighborhood. I called the owner several times and I was freaking out... If only I knew then what I know now, those bugs were nothing. All these spiders are probably some kind of bad karma due to me driving my landlord crazy!

I try not to analyze it too much, or think about what else might be out there...  

Haiku Friday! See more poems at A Mommy Story

More pictures PhotoStory Friday

Go ahead and click on the photos it you want a closer look at these new pets!

Learning from Each Other

Labor day weekend and many children are going back to school next week.  My boys are in a year round school and they have been in session since the week after the Fourth of July.  It is amazing to see the changing dynamics of their relationship, now that they are both in school.

My second grader loves to quiz his Kindergartner brother as we drive around in the car. 

"What's 2+2?" "What's 4+4?"

"4" and "8"

"Right... What's 20+20?" "What's 40+40?"  

He goes through all the addition facts coaching his brother about how to add by tens.

The other day I noticed them sitting together at the kitchen table and my older son was doing alphabetizing of his spelling words and he was showing his brother how you look to the second letter if two words start with the same letter- (like acrobat, applause).

He seems to love to be in the expert teaching mode... and then the tables turned.

I had put them to bed and my older son called to me.

"Mom, my brother learned something at school and I don't know if it's true or not."

His kindergartner brother had learned in a book that a baby fish is called a fry. 

"Let's look it up," I said.  

We found a table on the internet that listed all the animal names and what their babies are called. We found out that a fish is called a fry, or a fingerling.

My kindergartner was beaming because he had taught his older brother a fact that he didn't know.

The next morning at the breakfast table, my second grader was practicing his spelling words and he was having a little trouble getting "appreciate" right.  

His kindergartner brother piped up, "You just need to stretch it out A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E."    

"Take the attitude of a student, never too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new"  Og Mandino

Photo Story Friday here.

Bad Hair Day!

This morning Lil' Red found a jar of vaseline left out on the counter.

After two shampoos her hair still looks like this!  

*For more Wordless Wednesday pictures go to 5 Minutes for Mom 

The Best Deal on Swim Lessons Ever!!

The Teacher

The Student

This summer, my five year old son has taken it upon himself to teach his three year old sister to swim.  

Storytellin' Boy says, "It's time for your swim lesson." 

Brown-eyed Gal has actually gone from wearing floaties, or a life jacket to swimming completely free like a little fish all over the pool.

First, he taught her to swim from one step to the next step, then he taught her to swim across the length of the pool.  He swims right next to her and gives her pointers. He always stays by her side.

He taught her to jump off the rocks holding hands and swim to the side.

One day recently my daughter said to me, "I'm late for my swim lesson." My son said, "Yeah Mom, can we go swimming? I still have to teach her diving..."

School Daze...

This mama has gone from one child in school to now having three kids in school. It's been a little crazy this week. My blog as well as my usual activities have taken a back seat, but we are all starting to adjust to the new routine. I think the kids are adjusting a little more quickly than me, but I am working on it!

It goes like this:

• 7:04 AM drive 2nd grader and Kindergartner to bus stop
• 10:40 AM pick up Kindergartner from school 
• 11:30 drop three year old at preschool
• 2:50 meet 2nd grader at bus stop 
• 3:10 meet preschooler at bus stop 

My 2nd grader is a professional by now and has taken great pride in showing his younger brother the ropes on the bus and at school. He's off to a good start this year with a strict and challenging teacher. 

He's not to excited about his new bus driver this year. This is what he had to say about her:

"She's been a bus driver for twenty years and she knows all our tricks. She knows every trick in the book. Did you know there was a book about it? She won't let us trade Pokemon cards, or play rock, paper, scissors. She knows about switching seats. She's really strict."  

I asked my kindergartner if he had a good day after the first day of school and he raised his little fist in the air and said, "I didn't have a good day, I had an awesome day."

My three year old is going to a special speech preschool and she has never really been away from me. On the first day, she cried and tried to escape several times to come find me. The teacher's put a guard at the door to make sure she didn't run out of the classroom. She settled down about half way through the class. 

She is riding the bus home because her class is at the district office and I wouldn't be able to get to her in time to get back to pick up my second grader from the bus. The first day I was nervous about her riding the bus and I was anxiously awaiting at 3:10 for it to come. The driver was new and got lost several times bringing the children on his route home. He did not get her home until 4:30. What a hard day.

I was worried about day number two, but on the way to school my sweet little girl said, "Mommy, I'm a big girl. I stay with Ms. Heidi today." She marched in happy as could be and started her day!

I have been waiting and excited to have a break for a few hours with the kids in school, but I was surprised at how emotional I was to see the two of them off to kindergarten and preschool. I shed a few tears and really missed them while they were at school.

The kids are doing great. I'm still a little dazed... but excited about this new school journey in the life of our kids. 

This is what works for me, to keep breathing, be thankful, and to savor each moment with these little people because they are growing and changing so fast.

My husband took some great pictures of them on the first day of school which I will soon post.

Happy WFMW!

How to clean with four children in tow...

There are four at home for the summer, seven and under.

While I'm cleaning one mess, they are usually creating another. 

Today, I decided to clean the master bathroom... to really, really clean it. I left the kids and dogs in the front room watching cartoons while I broke out the hard chemicals.

Later, I was chatting on the phone with a friend and she said, "I don't know how you can deep clean the bathroom like that with all your kids home. My kids at that age would have been all over me." 

Well, they actually did come in the bathroom a time, or two, or three...  

I was in the bathtub barefoot with the tub full of Soft Scrub and Method brand bathroom cleaner. My baby Lil' Red tried to climb right in the tub with me and all the cleaners. 

I was cleaning the mirrors with glass cleaner that smelled so minty fresh, and suddenly the paper towels disappeared. I found them. The entire roll was unrolled down the hallway, no child in sight.

The last task of cleaning the bathroom was to mop the floor. Every single one of my children, four to be exact, walked in during the mopping and left footprints to be mopped over again.

One would think that with all the interruptions, they could not be making any other messes in the rest of the house, but...

When I came out to check on them, Brown-eyed Gal, my three year old had sprinkled pepper around the kitchen. 

Our beagle puppy, Scout had shredded a sponge and a roll of toilet paper all over the living room. 

Lil' Expert, my seven year old had pulled a chair up and helped himself to quite a bit of candy on top of the refrigerator. 

Last but not least, Storytellin' Boy, my five year old had started his own cooking project. First, he cracked several eggs that he mixed with some hawaiian rolls and some crumbled parts of a cheese stick to make his own "Health Units" as he called them. 

"Mom, they are really healthy and delicious. Don't you want to try one. They have to harden up in the refrigerator to be done. But then they will taste so good. Don't you want to eat one of my health units?"  

My master bathroom is really, really clean. And as a bonus my son has made lunch.

Here's a couple of original pictures of the bathroom when we moved in back in 2005. This is how it looked after today's cleaning!

By the way, I love and am addicted to Method Cleaning Products. They are environmentally friendly, non-toxic, and they smell so good. These products keep me cleaning. And as you can tell by my motley crew, the cleaning is not going to be ending any time soon.

Here's to summer cleaning projects!!!

*5 Minutes for mom is hosting Tackle it Tuesday to bring housecleaning to the blogosphere. Read more housecleaning projects!

Musical Beds, Throwing Up and Sleep Deprivation...

Saturday, I started out the night sleeping in the guest bed (futon) in the spare room with Storytellin' Boy. He has a fever and has thrown up four times since about 9:00 pm. 

As I'm working with the little sick boy, I hear the baby crying. She is just getting over the "throw ups" herself and was sick the previous two nights. She is now sleeping in a pack-n-play right next to our king size bed. A few days ago, one of the doors on her crib failed and fell completely off.  She is the fourth one to use the crib, and I think it just wore out from all the years of use. 

Anyway, I wait because my husband is in the bed right next to the little port-a-crib. The baby continues to cry. Storytellin' Boy is settled for a minute, so I go and check on the baby. My husband is snoring inches away and is not bothered by the crying baby, or the throwing up going on in the next room.  I pat the baby back to sleep.

I go back to bed with Storytellin' Boy. I fall into a deep, exhausted sleep. I wake up startled and hear a gagging sound. Brown-eyed Gal has just thrown up red Hawaiian punch all over her bed. My husband actually wakes up and helps me clean up the mess. I move Brown-eyed Gal into the futon bed with her sick brother. I load the bed up with towels and bowls. I make a bed on the floor with a sleeping bag near both of them.    

I have been up six times now since I first went to bed. I'm sure it's the middle of the night, maybe 2:00 am. I look at the clock before hitting the comfortable bed bag on the floor. It's only 11:53 pm. I hear the baby crying again. Pat, pat, pat and she's back to sleep. 

I'm feeling a little queasy. Something tells me, it's going to be a long night...  

A Tale of Two Coaches

I play basketball.

I won most improved player.

I earned a medal.

Mom says a slam dunk.

I am getting stronger now.

I dribble and shoot!

Lil' Expert has just finished his first season of basketball. At the beginning of the season, he had trouble dribbling and was unable to hit the basket with the ball. He was afraid of the ball. If he got the ball in a game, he would immediately pass it to another player as fast as he could.

Fast forward to Saturday's pizza party after the last game. The coach had all the kids gathered together to give out medals and pictures.  He announced he had a special award for one player. Lil' Expert got the award for being the most improved player on the team.  The prize was 550 tickets to redeem for prizes at the pizza place's prize counter. He was so proud and excited about the prize tickets. Of course, being his Asperger's collecting self he spent the tickets mostly on prizes ranging from 5 to 15 tickets instead of any large ticket items.  This meant a long time deliberating at the prize counter, and a large bag of prizes!

Lil' Expert's coach was fabulous. He pushed and challenged him, but he was also fast with encouragement and hugs after the game. As I have mentioned before, Lil' Expert can have social problems. There were times when my son got into trouble and had to run laps. I wanted to step in and protect him. I wanted to explain it was his disability and intervene.  I kept my mouth shut, and Lil' Expert rose to the occasion. This has been the most successful sports experience he's ever had.  

My other son, Storytellin' Boy also played basketball. Well, he started to play until we pulled him from the team after the first game. His coach took the game very seriously, even though it was a bunch of five year olds running willy nilly around the basketball court. The league did not even keep score during these games. 

Storytellin' Boy has his head in the clouds most of the time, and basketball was no different. During his one and only game, he did not really follow the action and was often in the wrong place at the wrong time. My goal would be for him to learn to be on a team, learn the fundamentals of basketball, and have a positive experience during the practices and games. Hopefully, he would learn to run in the right direction when his team had the ball by the end of the season.

His coach had other plans. She spent most of the game yelling his name, and occasionally would yank his shirt in the direction she wanted him to go. I don't mind a little redirection, believe me he needs it, but this coach really screamed at him. She screamed at other kids on the team as well. He did not respond to this, and seemed paralyzed like a deer in headlights. After the game another parent on the team approached me and said, "I didn't like the way the coach was yelling at your kid during the game."

I talked to the coach in a very diplomatic way, but she was very defensive. I don't think she understood my perspective and I probably didn't understand hers. During the game, she yelled at her own daughter (also a five year old), "Your playing like a girl." It's a coed team and her daughter is a girl! 

In many circumstances, I believe in sticking it out. I know my kids will eventually have to learn to tolerate difficult people. In this instance, I really felt the negativity outweighed the positives.  My son is five. I hope that playing sports will build his confidence and self-esteem. We decided quitting the basketball team would be best for Storytellin' Boy. 

Two different teams, two different coaches, and two totally different experiences. I am sure there will be many more sports and coaches to contend with in the years to come.

It's Haiku Friday! More poems at A mommy's place and Playgroups are No Place for Children   

           

Where's the Fairy Dust?

Lil' Expert lost another bottom tooth yesterday. He loves losing teeth, but he loves the tooth fairy even more. It happened in the morning and all day he planned for the tooth fairy visit. He schemed about what the tooth fairy might leave him. His guesses ranged from a quarter all the way to a Wii gaming system. 

"Mom, it's a pretty good looking tooth, don't you think," he said.

When he lost his first tooth about a year ago, we started a new tradition around the tooth fairy visit. I had heard the idea of sprinkling glitter around the child's pillow and on the window sill in their room. This "fairy dust" is left behind by the tooth fairy as proof of her visit. I use a multicolored glitter for my fairy dust, and it looks sparkly and fairyish when sprinkled around.

This morning my son woke up, and was quite pleased with the tooth fairy's visit.  He jumped around, showing me the fairy dust and the money the tooth fairy had left. 

His brother Storytellin' boy has yet to lose a tooth, but is greatly anticipating the event. He came into the bedroom. Right away, he wanted to know, "Where's the fairy dust?"

Lil' Expert and Storytellin' Boy spent quite a few minutes examining the pillow, the bed, and the window. It is amazing to see the wonder of these little boys.  I know it won't be long before they are too old for the tooth fairy and other magical beliefs.

I will relish the time now, while they are still asking, "Where's the fairy dust?"   

Kids Asking Existential Questions

Some of the best conversations with my children happen at bedtime. A couple of nights ago, I was putting the boys to bed and they were both sleeping together on the top bunk. My older son, Lil' Expert who tends to be a little morose started asking me questions about death and dying.

Last year, our beagle puppy drowned in our pool. My son asked, "Why didn't Scout (our other dog) jump in the pool and try to save Bandit? Why did he just bark?" My son then asked if I remembered my friend that was hit by a car? Around the same time as the accident with the dog, my friend Brenda from high school was hit and killed by a car. She had four children like me, and I was really saddened by her death. My son wanted to know why did she have to die?

In the past, Lil' Expert has worried about dying himself, or having one of his parents die. I have noticed that long before we realize it, children become aware of death. They see dead birds, insects, and animals lying by the road. They may see death at least once a day on television. They hear about it in fairy tales and act it out in their play. Death is a part of life, and children, at some level, are aware of it.

If we let children talk to us about death, we can give them needed information, prepare them for a crisis, and help them when they are upset. We can encourage their communication by showing interest in and respect for what they have to say. We can also make it easier for them to talk to us if we are open, honest, and comfortable with our own feelings. Not easy.

I tried to keep it brief, simple and explain in terms that he could understand. We talked a little about the life cycle, our faith, and making the most of life. The next day, I saw a book on the internet that looked like it might be helpful.  It tells the story of the life cycle of a dragonfly and explains death and dying in terms young children can understand. I am thinking about ordering a copy.

Anyway, after the kids were sleeping I thought about my old friend. I realized it has been almost a year exactly since Brenda died. Another friend wrote a post about  Brenda a few weeks back. 

We had not kept in touch in recent years, but I still really miss her. She was an amazing mother and an encouraging, outgoing person.  I think about her husband and four children. It makes me want to live in a present way and be grateful for each minute with my family and friends. I have the same questions as my son. Why did she have to die? I try to trust God that her family will be taken care of and come through this tragedy.

Here is a memorial video about Brenda: 

The loss of Brenda reminds me to keep being grateful and thankful!

On the Rocks

Out here in the Wild West, grass backyards are scarce. It is too hot and takes too much water to keep a yard green and growing. The typical landscape for front and backyards is a "rockscape" yard. Colored rocks are used in desert tones to make paths around the plants and trees. This is true of our home, and unlike grass, rocks are easily transported inside. Rocks in the dryer, rocks in the baby's crib, rocks in the bathtub, and lots of rocks in the carpet.  

Yesterday, my three year old, Brown-eyed Gal came in from playing in the backyard. This was our conversation:  

"Mommy, I got a wok." 

"You got a walk, you want to go on a walk?"   

"No, I got a wok in my node." 

"You have a rock in your nose?" 

"Yes, mommy. It hurts, the wok in my node." 

My darling daughter had stuck a pebble from the play structure up her nose. We tried blowing. We tried tweezers. I looked up my daughter's nose  with a flashlight, and there was the rock wedged in tight. I took a bulb syringe and filled it with water and flushed out my daughter's nose. The rock still didn't come out. I left her to her own devices for a few minutes while I looked up "rocks stuck up nose" on the internet.

"Mommy, Mommy I got out the wok from my node," she said. 

Happily, we avoided a trip to the doctor's office.  

We weren't so lucky a couple of years ago when Lil' Expert stuck two rocks in his ear. It happened during kindergarten and he waited a whole week to tell us. He was sitting on the carpet with his class, and he picked up two little rocks and put them in his ear. By the time he told us they were really bothering him. We tried the flashlight and tweezers, but no luck. Finally, we took him to the emergency room where they floated them out of his ear canal with some little device they have for just such occasions. 

Desert living has it's hazards. Cactus, scorpions, tarantulas, and many shapes and sizes of rocks. Watch out for the rocks!

Revisiting the Boxcar Children

We are reading aloud The Boxcar Children.

The first book tells the story of four children (Henry, Jesse,Violet and Benny) and their dog Watch.  Upon the death of their mother and father they are supposed to go live with their grandfather, but they believe him to be cruel. They run away and find an abandoned boxcar where they start a new life of independence.  Henry the oldest does odd jobs, they find dishes at the dump, they bathe in the stream, and have many adventures. Ultimately, their grandfather is reunited with them and they find out he's not such a bad guy. They move in with him and he moves their boxcar into his backyard. 

The books were written in 1942. There are 19 books in the original series. They were written by American writer and first grade school teacher Gertrude Chandler Warner. It is amazing how these stories have stood the test of time even today.  

We have finished the first book and now we are on to the second book Surprise Island. My kids really like that there are four boxcar children (two boys and two girls) just like in our family.  I loved these books when I was a little girl.  It makes me so happy to share something with my children that I cherished as a child.  It has been fun reading to them out loud and reliving the stories once again. 

My kids have been pretending to live in a boxcar.  They have been taking play dishes out into the yard to set up their car and pretending to make beds out of pine needles.  

Storytellin' Boy has had all kinds of questions about pine needle beds.  Are they soft?  Can we plant a pine tree in our yard?  Can we put some needles in his real bed, so he can see what it's like? 

Lil' Expert has also been enjoying the boxcar stories. He has been practicing his reading aloud by alternating  pages with me. His reading is improving every day.  

I would recommend these books for any school age children getting interested in chapter books. They are simple, wholesome, and promote families working together. They are exciting and engaging for young readers.  

Happy Reading!

No More Training Wheels and Other Summer Challenges

School's out and we are all excited to have a break from the hectic pace and early morning schedule.  We have a short summer due to year round school. The kids will start again July 14th.  Lil' Expert will start 2nd grade, Storytellin' Boy will start kindergarten and Brown-eyed Gal will start her speech preschool three days a week. Three kids in some sort of school, amazing!

I talked about Lil' Expert's challenges with Asperger's Syndrome in Life on the Spectrum. One of the continuing issues that he struggles with is his fine motor skill development.  This has made it tough for him to do things that come easy for many kids. We are going to face a few of these tasks head on over summer break. Learning to ride a bike, learning to tie shoes, and practicing writing will be our three areas of focus.

Lil' Expert has been slow to learn to pedal and has had trouble with coordination and balance. I ordered a Wallaby Vest which is supposed to help speed up the process and make it less strenuous on the parents. Lil' Expert really wants to learn to ride his bike. I think determination is half the battle.

In this day in age, we have been able to avoid shoe tying because velcro shoes have been so readily available. Again, this is a skill that takes dexterity and small movements with your hands. Lil' Expert is getting older and most shoes now require tying. He has had to ask the teacher, or one of his friends at school to help him. We have ordered a book with big laces and will start practicing with the book and then hopefully move on to shoes.  

The third thing we will continue to practice is writing. This has been an ongoing struggle and I am so proud of the strides Lil' Expert has made. In Kindergarten, because of his hypotonicity (low tone in muscles) Lil' Expert had trouble grasping his pencil and applying enough pressure to write. Now, he is writing so much better, but he tires easily and it is difficult to read his writing. The occupational therapist from school has sent me a kid's typing program and we will also follow a program called handwriting without tears. If handwriting continues to be a problem, Lil Expert will be eligible to have a computer supplied by the school to type some of his assignments as handwriting becomes more of an emphasis.

I always want to find the balance between being to pushy and helping Lil' Expert live up to his full potential. Storytellin' boy is also ready for some of these challenges. Hopefully, it will be a joint effort and we can make these activities fun to fill our summer days. We will also have plenty of swimming, movies, and computer games to balance out the hard work.    

 

Grocery Store Blues

Trips to the grocery store, Target, or Walmart with all four kids can be challenging. My goal is to get in and out of the store without losing my sanity. If you have a lot of kids, you know what I'm talking about!

Last year my daughter, two at the time, was obsessed with swim diapers. These are the diapers that don't get all swollen up with water and keep the pool pollution free. Brown-eyed gal did not get the concept that these diapers were for swimming only. They were colorful and came in cute designs. She loved them. If she saw one, she was very insistent about putting it on her body immediately. She wore them around the house most of the time, all summer long.  

We had been shopping at Target for a while without incident, and I was feeling quite pleased with my full basket and my well-behaved gang.  All of a sudden, I saw a giant summer display of Dora Swim diapers.  Now, my daughter loves swim diapers, but she is absolutely over the moon about Dora the Explorer. Right there, in the store all of her clothing came off. Her diaper, her clothes, everything.  The screaming for a swim diaper and Dora began. There was no persuading her to get dressed. No reasoning, cajoling, bribing, or punishing worked. Her rationality was gone in only the way a two year olds can be.  She was buck naked in the store for all to see.  I opened a swim diaper box, put one on her, and finished shopping with my half-dressed swim diaper clad girl. 

My twin sister  told me about a trip to the grocery store that might top the stripping incident. She was in the produce section, happily buying fruits and vegetables with her son and daughter trailing behind.  She was in her own world, planning recipes, thinking about the menu for the week.  She looked back at her children and she saw a sea of green on the floor of the produce section.  They had taken all of the little bendy green ties and scattered hundreds of these produce ties everywhere. All eyes were on her as she scooted over the floor picking up the offending ties. Not a happy shopper.  

I always wonder about the check out lanes. The gum, the candy, the small toys and the other appealing items that are just the right height for little shoppers. I inevitably get in a slow line and it is a referee act to keep these offending items out of the basket and out of my children's mouths.  

I also often get behind someone, could be a man or woman, who is tall, tan, fit, and alone without children. They have pomegranite juice and lettuce and lean meat in their cart. I see the raised eyes at my unruly children and the once over of my cart full of juice and crackers and popsicles. I want to point out that I have bananas and apples in there too. They are just at the bottom of the cart, underneath the giant bag of frozen chicken nuggets. 

I always feel a wave of relief and happiness on the way out of the store and back to my van. I can't wait to get the children strapped into their car seats and take a few deep yoga breaths before unloading the groceries into the back.  

Happy Shopping!          

Little Scholar

Storytellin' Boy's preschool graduation was last night.  It's hard to believe he is such a big boy and ready for Kindergarten.  We are on a year round schedule here, so it's a short break and then off to big boy school after the Fourth of July.  

I never was really a fan of preschool or kindergarten graduations. Kids are pushed to be little adults in so many ways, but  I must admit when Storytellin' Boy donned his cap and gown and sang a rousing rendition of "Kindergarten Here I Come", I felt my eyes well up and some true emotion for the rather silly event!

*Tomorrow I will continue my posts of getting to know Mama's Gang. The final two installments will be about Big Expert (Daddy) and Storytellin' Mama herself.  

Life on the Spectrum

Asperger's Syndrome

Does not define my living

I'm a unique boy

Lil' Expert is our chess pro, math wizard, information gatherer, computer genius, dog loving, first born son. 

Lil' Expert has all of these terrific qualities and he also has Asperger's Syndrome, which is part of the Autism Spectrum. He is in good company.  It's likely Albert Einstein had Asperger's, and so did Thomas Jefferson. Bill Gates is also said to have it.

Lil' Expert was diagnosed when he was four years old, but he has always been a special boy. At age one he collected balls of every shape and size and spent most of his time lining them up, ordering them, and organizing them. Later, he moved on to hangers and then toothbrushes. As he has grown his collections have become more typical like Star Wars toys and Pokemon cards.

Lil' Expert is known to tell it like it is! On a recent shuttle ride to the county fair the driver was smoking and Lil' Expert immediately told him the hard facts and consequences of smoking. Last year, on his T- ball baseball team, he played catcher and his coach had to get after him for "trash talking"  the kindergartners on the other team during batting. A couple of previous posts "Don't Ask"  and "Collections" reflect Lil' Expert at his finest! We are continually working on his social skills.     

Asperger's is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects early brain development. Often causing communication difficulties and problems with social interactions. In preschool, Lil' Expert preferred to do his own thing and it was challenging for him to interact with others 

Characteristics include:

• Deficiencies in social skills
• Difficulties with transitions or changes, preference for sameness
• Obsessive routines
• Repetitive motions
• Restricted interests
• Difficulty reading nonverbal cues
• Sensory issues
• Difficulty with space and boundaries    
  

Lil' Expert has made tremendous gains. He is at the top of his class in first grade. He has an awesome memory and excels in math. He amazes me with the words he uses and his ability to hold onto facts. He continues to get speech therapy and occupational therapy, but he has made great improvement in social development and has many friends.

  

This last month, Lil' Expert qualified and attended the Arizona State Chess Championships. Here is what his coach had to say about him in a flier to the school:

"Congratulations to Lil' Expert, 1st grader, as he represented the school in the K-1st grade section at the Arizona State chess championships. He was able to win two games plus a drawn (tie) game out of seven games he played against the best players throughout the state. Super Job!"  

Lil' Expert we are so proud of you. You are a unique gift to us. We love you!

"You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes even if it's just in your own eyes."  - Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

CNN recently featured a day of stories all related to Autism and recent developments about Spectrum Disorders. They also have links listed to Autism information websites. Check it out here:

CNN Autism Stories 

It's Haiku friday!  Check out other Haiku poems at Playgroups Are No Place For Children and 

A Mommy's Story 

Chicken Anyone?

My kids have a loose association that the chicken, turkey, or beef we eat for dinner is in any way related to the animals they sing about in "Old McDonald's Farm" or read about in "The Big Red Barn." It is difficult to explain to kids where meat originates. We have taken a laid back approach and try to answer their questions honestly as they come up.

The other night, we were having a rotisserie chicken for dinner and my five year old was helping in the kitchen. We had the following conversation:

Storytellin' five year old: "Mom, where's the head?"

Mom: "They take the head off, it would be kind of sad and gross if they left it on"

Storytellin' five year old: "Is this the wing? Where are all the feathers? Oh, they must have taken the feathers off before they cooked it. Right, Mom?"

Mom: "Yes, they take the feathers off before they cook it."

Storytellin' five year old: "They must have made a coat with the feathers. Mom, did they make a coat with the feathers?"

Mom: "Maybe, I'm not sure about that."

Storytellin' five year old: "This is an old chicken. They don't need this chicken anymore. Right, Mom. It's one of their old ones."

These are the conversations! It makes a mom want to serve up vegetarian meals.

Comment and let me know how you explain eating meat to your children in a way that does not traumatize them about the farm animals they love?

Super Mom traveling by Car

I have always believed in the philosophy of "the good enough mother." 

Maybe that's not entirely true.  When I had my first son I certainly wanted to be the "perfect" mother.  I had high expectations and little experience.  Now I am the mother of four and some days I am just barely sliding into the "good enough" category.

A perfect example of my digression from "perfect" to "good enough" has played out in the car.  

Child #1:  Baby cries.  Stop the car no matter where you are, even if you are on a mountainous  highway surrounded by trucks going 8o miles an hour.  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Settle the baby and begin driving again.  Five minutes later the baby is still crying.  Stop the car and repeat the process all over again.  Make little progress on the road trip until the baby finally falls asleep.

Child #2:  Baby cries.  Assess whether now is a good time to stop.  Talk to the baby calmly until the ideal stopping place is near.  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Settle the baby and begin driving again.  If the baby continues to cry, first try to soothe the baby without stopping.  Stop only if the baby does not stop crying within a reasonable amount of time.  

Child #3:  Baby cries.  Only stop at designated places along the road when gas is needed, or to feed the other children.  Encourage the baby, "We're almost there.  Twenty more minutes and we'll stop.  Hold on baby."  Nurse the baby.  Change the baby.  Continue on the trip.  If the baby cries, soothe the baby until the baby falls asleep.  Do not stop again until next designated stop. 

Child #4:  After driving for about six hours realize that the baby has not been nursed, or changed.  Pat the baby and say, "Just about there.  We'll get you all fixed up as soon as we get home."  Baby does not cry or complain.  Being number four baby knows how to go with the flow.

Finding the balance between being a "Super Mom"and being a "Slacker Mom"  can be tough.   Jen Singer  has a new book and it addresses this very issue.  Her video promoting her book has a great message about modern day mothering and the challenges we face.  Hope you enjoy it.  As Mother's day approaches, I hope to continue to be a "good enough" mother!